September 24, 2017

more bro chatter

Niall's mum didn't just bring up our uncle at that meal pretty sure she brought up now too and told us not to blog about you as well and said we knew what would happen to us if we did. We asked what would happen to and she said we knew and we said we didn't or wouldn't of asked. Think it was at this point that Julie jumped in and impatiently told her mum to leave it, it she was nagging me about getting a job or how I was dressed or something. We were kinda glad it happened and not just because when another dinner who was an obvious slaver came over and put his hand on our shoulder and told me I would overcome a younger lad at his table said "Dad I'm gonna kill you." but also because we no longer had any notions of their being any resistance in the entire family. She said it all in front of the Niall's nephews who were all bairns at the time and they were completely nonchalant to a little excited by it.

They came to the door in Fintry those lads but we were their enough to let them in. There was constant calls from Lesley trying to trigger, get info, threaten etc until we got enough support from the dumbass Earth tech companies to stop it. Big important call from Niall back then to asking we wouldn't let Ewen Warren come and visit. Cant remember all of it but we knew it was going to happen. He said he didn't understand why I wouldn't let my friend Bunny come and help me and we said that everything Ewie had said to us over the phone was a massive lie. He said something about us being confused and we said we were often not as confused as we appear we had just been forced to act like that so stupid people think they are powerful, that ignoring everything someone tells you about themselves and believing others is very disrespectful and that it someone is confused they certainly can't be helped by being surrounded by people who tell them constant big whoppers.  Can't remember it all but we were very glad to be free of whatever tech makes the Andersons scary to someone with my education and training.

So much of Scotland involved in keeping us down and apart Paul the entire time. Think we overhear one of the staff telling Niall's mum not to bring me in there again, she would be welcome of course but the rest of the Cruden Bay Golf Club dinners prefer their slaves to be rarely seen and never, ever heard.

So glad I can think about you again. Hope your amnesia isn't dropping too fast but not too slow either. It's shit here without anyone.

September 23, 2017

For my brother Paul

Love and miss you Paul thank you for keeping me alive after our uncle died. Feel like I should be so relieved and happy that things aren't as they were but we are struggling with all the trauma recall especially since the cold is still hanging around and we are skint, weedless out of decent dose codiene and won't have any non food money until a week on Tuesday. Not phoning Niall though, been getting fair bit of dough of him recently and its humiliating and triggering.  Think there is a lot more non slaver peoples out there that know what he is and that helps even if nothing has happened yet. Remembered today how when they had the fake coupling between any of us they could get their hands on and Niall, we went to dinner with him and his family and saw her talking to enforcer slavers and during the meal she apoligised to us for our uncle.. Whoever was the "Louise" though was prepared and had answers and switches ready to get through it without crumbling in front of them. Seeing the looks on people who thought they were helping keep us safe after the came out of the Niall and the Andersons tent meant so much to us. We didn't have anything to say to them they ignored the evidence for an easy life year after year still though seeing them half dead from exposure to the truth felt like we could be for the first time here ever.

We keep thinking of his scars and injuries, how he always brought us back after whatever they had done to us and how many people spent so long trying to find him but white supremacist Earth and their handlers in the intergalactic slaver co  wouldn't have it.

Remembering going through some smushed enslavement and terror tech footage  with you, that was funny.


 Hope to see you really soon, we need lots and lots and lots of big bro hugs. Stat.

Rosie

September 22, 2017

Mai

Oh Mum.

We got the whole story of his enslavement from him before he died and recorder it and collaborated it in as many ways as we could. It was so hard but we had to do it and no one else could as well as we could and it was too important we needed to do it for us, for you for everything. These words have been both bright and heavy in our mind for a long time. All the "you and your mother can't feel close again because you will never be able to tell her" shit.. Sometimes if we thought or knew we would get away with it we would tell some slaver tool just to hear the words, our own voices and see the look on his face before ending whoever it was. The few times we didn't we knew they would kill him for mentioning the subject or might even eventually reach someone somewhere who cared.

We put everything into the work and got everything out of it as you can see. We got through the autopsy with DID, drugs and lots of far away support who did or didn't know what was going on.

The look on the wedgies faces when got irritated enough with the brother/uncle gossip and said he was you brother we just made up an identity who could deal with it because his child niece couldn't so we made up an adult fellow slave hard as sister and based her partly on you as we had been trained to do. We told them to remember how during the rape sometimes they start saying that whoever you are can't handle it and then tell you who can this way they create the parts rather you making one up for yourself that you think is really cool and easy to respect. Think it was a scales falling moment for some of them but we didn't really care it never really made any real difference in the long term the were often already well educated and just acted around us that they weren't anyway. Yuck.

He told us everything he knew about the slavery all over the music industry and it was horrible knowing he had gone through all the same stuff we were but helped so much knowing more about how all the tricks all worked. In the circumstances and due to damage it did we gave the Aberdeen scenes a pretty decent brief but they all choose to keep things as they are or went along with those who did. We were still fighting them and that in Dundee and didn't know it was over until there tech support was unloaded of a truck in front of us. We are really struggling to remember what happened next but I think we wanted to use basic Earth tech to see it destroyed and we are remembering an industrial machinery dude wiping tears out of his eyes as he and a couple of others crushed it in a car park and it wasn't out of hate or anger. It took a while it was hard to tell especially from a disinteresed position who out of the gathered crowd was in a state out of relief and who out of horror. We didn't want to look at any of their faces for too long anyway.

We were in a state when you got back and couldn't speak we remember that and you were horrified that it had still been around. Think the little big man is probably going to get away with his screens quite late tonight. Wish we could eat, only cause not eating is starting to bother our tummy and makes triggers worse. Wish we had more drugs, lots and lots of drugs. Loved his attitude to drugs even if he did suffer for it sometimes. Next week is shit money week again and we already quite low on funds. He have him properly again though and thats huge, seeing that he is such a massive part of us and our history.

Love you (reaches for other languages but can't quite reach)


Rosa

... why are the "girl with a dragon tattoo" people still mostly alive, like JK we don't need to be subtle we are Scottish Rowling, and that toxic old sick bat who wrote "Mary Queen of Scots".. they are not real people.


What Now Sir?

Well dear, dear readers, we slept all day and woke up to a text asking if we needed more essential meds which of course we do and now we have enough for tonight anyway and maybe tomorrow.. We've been thinking about all the scarring that was all over his body. Some scum had even carved his initials into his face. We could still make it out despite all the other scaring around and over it. We found the owner of those initials in Glasgow when they based us there. You can guess the rest.

As we remember now we couldn't let them beat him death we found extra strength and kicked open their drug supply cupboard and gave him a fatal overdose, took out the tracers and sent him to friends and let them run their happy final ending in their dumb terminal heads. They were not happy about realising no one had the body and that the drug cabinet was kicked opened and only one thing taken. The Scots knew it was us but their bosses said it was impossible and irrelevant anyway. We so glad when mum could finally get the last few messages for her that we had helped get out when they put us there, they had a fake British/Russian resistance ring taking correspondence from him laughing at it then destroying it or using it for themselves. We had a few real resistance Americans though and she finally got what they had kept safe all these years last summer.

We were hit hard with "never talk" programming and wot not about him but we thought it pointless at because we felt completely unable to talk about it anyway. Briefly we wondered why they didn't understand that then realised/remembered they didn't have emotions, not in any normal way and definitely didn't understand emotional attachments. We lost some fear of them then and that insight into them and the system that created him spread across our amnesiac systems and never really left. They could get us to pretend we thought they were real people but they could never get us to believe it again. It was great when they were trying to convince us for real because people would be programmed and ordered to help us, feed us and be nice to us. We always made the most of it while we could but never doubted it was fake

Bertie boasted about my uncle over at Grahams. Some other tool laughed with him and think they said their sick name for him that we can't remember. He told them he was my uncle and another tool just got up and left. There is some support for anti slavery work across Britian but not very much and usually part of "make her think we are not" ops. The best we can often get from folk is to get them to  walk away for their own interests. It's really hard to get even that from them though because the are Satanists who don't have self interests. When asked him who the hell else would kick open a drug lock up and only take one fucking thing, someone else in the room didn't need us to answer that for him. We looked at Bertie or rather through him at every failing and perverted things propping his shitty life up and told them that before going to be cared for in death in ways he could not imagine for most of his life we did gave him more medical attention than he ever got and preformed an autopsy. He got that frustrated and confused does not compute look again.

Graham was struggling. The poor dear.

It's good we held him and talked to him and showed him care and love and treated whatever injury we could but had to stop even that though because that would mean more injuries for us both. It was good we did everything we could to try and get him and information about him out even if it did us no good at the time. Afterwards we realised that if we hadn't done even we could for him then we would not of been able to keep surviving, our part in his slavery and violent death would of been too much. We understood how helping other slaves when we could was something we had to do for us even though we knew they weren't going to be many if any like our uncle and most would be delighted to be allowed to do horrific shit to us and would never help us back on their own.

We tried working with the useless Scots programmers to take away any memory or sense of him but it didn't work. There was some higher up weirdo that was working for some interests it took ages for amnesiac us to figure out we got him thinking that is the whole slave system was crumbling with us there and if he wanted to protect it he would have to get us out for a while.. and I think that may of been when we took down the giant crystal grids way up in that oxygen deprived slave built temple and he never got to see it.

Its not like it's something we will ever stop crying over but we are making baby steps forward with the devastation. It was all kinds and beautiful inside and out so they had to do everything within their pathetic and surrendered control to mark and destroy him because he was everything they can't be and fear most, an intelligent and compassionate human being.

We are scared of coping with the emotions of the memories over the next while, especially as we are a disabled lone parent and would really appreciate genuine support from anywhere or anyone espically as the big scary machines including, the scariest of all aka Zionist machine being long crushed, exploded, melted, atomized, nuked, dustified, decommissioned, dismantled and sold for scrap.. yada yada..

I love you. I'm sorry I can't remember names even if you can tell me so I will just have to call you Uncle even though I'm not sure what it means.

"Sonny" just came on the soul spotify list. eesh.






September 21, 2017

The Murdoch Scene (For (and from) my Uncle)

Not that we have details or recall at the moment. It was where I was before Dundee and the Todds the first time. Pulled out of American music scene for being to unmanageable and sent over Austria for whatever it was then Scotland. The Scots hated it when someone takes out their any of their main Satans and have always been supported by evil everywhere in making another who is given the same ID and physical appearance as the last one, its how its been done in many places for very long times and they were always trying to infiltrate anywhere they did not totally have.

So much of what we did wasn't about thinking we could stop them it was about us and our friends getting to now how it all worked and where the kept their most powerful hard ware, ideology and then using what we had found out to make it all out and make plans to do stuff that actually could make a difference.

We knew we wouldnt have any details when here alone still in mid September 2017 but we said to one of the last cunts to properly try and take over the final programming and entire operation last summer that as we wouldnt have details about that scene maybe we should focus on the problems we have with ongoing programming, like the way Pabs talks to us and most people and Todd stuff. He didn't like it.

Had the Murdoch stuff been about setting us up for the Scotland scenes? They had a lot of our sisters. We remember the guy who was making us watch it from a distance saying it wasn't bad they doing what they were doing to my sisters to protect me because I was the most special and had to be treated better than how they were treating my sisters. We knew for certain that guy was evil and a liar from that moment on. This was in America anyway. I think we got away from him not long after and with the far away support real or imagined we reached out to a Latino gang about helping me break my sisters out of there..

It's was never random anyway the order in which you were sent round the different rings and thrown into different hell holes we had enough distance from it to see how clever but inflexible it was and all the Satanists were stupid and did whatever they were told so we couldn't see how it came from them.

We wish we could give some kind of name to not old amazing scarred genius slave guy. They said they still hadn't told my mum, we could see here searching the crowds faces for someone. He had gave us how to make your someone other than you are over decades of extreme relentless violent abuse by thousands (maybe more). He believed he needed to go through it so someone could help me, one of the scenes had told him that and we were weren't sure until we remembered that when it came to slavery and intentionally inflicted human misery we knew there is no justification and no meaning its just keeps everyone down and blind. It annoyed us when he said of course we believed that we had to but as time went on and we saw him smile and then even laugh he started to be able to get it.

It was too late though and they were listening to every word and just set up traps for us. He went back to saying he would die as they planned then but said it was because there was no way out but that he didn't accept it as something that "had" to happen anymore and he said he had set the programming to help me and had to die to protect it and because we had reminded him of everything outside of rape and slavery and had shown him love in that world of pure and solid hate he could not let us see how they were treating him on top of how they were treating me. He said we couldn't survive it and we couldn't argue. We were already getting round in the tummy and they work, beatings, rape and torture rarely stopped. He did say it would be worse because of the pregnancies.  "Only the really hardly wans survive aw this. Thats why we dae it. They need to be. You'll understand one day."

Of course with all the non stop horror since then we have had little time to try and deal with any of it. Glad we have been able to just a little now but we feel very tearful and broken over it as ever. Jacqui brought him up to us once I think. Don't think she did it again.

Oh Mum. Don't let them talk you into waiting any longer. Not for any reason. 

September 20, 2017

"Fran Healy"

They had to have British Satanists involved in everything and spoiling as much as they in any catastrophic or minor inconvenience way they could. Of course the gang that made the last twenty years of breeding other extreme horrors a reality again after we had found a tiny bit of safety would be handed to young male Scottish ring creations on "musician" tickets.

And of course they were going to do everything they could do to spoil our wedding and party if they couldn't have me tied up and drug up in their spare rooms forever.

We were very split of course but I think I remember feeling and managing hear that there would be light that day for us when we saw to the plants in Skene. They told us they were anti liberal satanism we were so glad we knew pretty quickly by the way the spoke to us and to each other that they were what they were definitely not from around here and definitely not Satanic. It had been so long since we had heard people who had not been slaves and slavers for millions of years speak we wept. They gave us lots of really useful information or though we remember thinking there were very factual and not showing much emotional sensitivity but we they asked what we were thinking they came out with the most beautiful and intelligent ideas and ways of surviving that we felt so self conscious of the crappy uncomfortable badly fitting not warm enough clothes and our stupid slave brain compared to them in all there everything we started crying again.

We had to properly accept comfort from them knowing we would all start popping out and talking about all the horrible horrible things that were going on because they had told us not to and we knew we needed to to survive but there was no one even a little a bit safe anywhere near us. They were all wonderful and told us it was us that gave them everything they had and went through their clothing, equipment and ideas reminding me of my involvement. They tried to get us to talk about our sisters but we were too broken and couldn't. They asked if they could see if they could try and fix us and they very amazingly well trained and were able to help lots but it wasn't easy because our eyes just kept filling up with tears, everything was coming back but the bad stuff wasn't going away.

They said they could help us with all the rape and pregnancies planned, programmed, arranged and paid for but they could help us out with a lot of what was happening to us back then for as long as possible. Then there was lots of talk about tech and them going around the house in Skene, finding stuff, breaking stuff, wrapping stuff up. We saw the way the responded to worst in house. They were as shook up around it as we was. We couldn't believe it was leaving and didn't care why he needed its most active parts and wasn't just destroying it like most other things. There was a listener thing, we told to keep that if they wanted it would help them hear us better and they did and seemed to be a little more open to us not being a Satanist either. They needed our help dismantling it. They couldn't believe we had be allowed to touch and went all kinds of even paler when we said we had to and that the slavers said it was what we were for and that most of them were not allowed to know it all worked and slaves were forced to hand it down to each other.

We remember the old guy that they had before us to work it, he was a urban map of scaring and bruising. His clothes made us feel so glad for ours. His arms were shaking, his whole body was shaking and he kept having to take breaks. He seemed so there, so intelligent, so educated our heart was already breaking about what was going to happen next but we wanted to show him some humanity in his final hours there and he said we did. The slaver would say and shout a lot from his spot standing by the door we knew it would all be abusive but couldn't understand all of it.

We did notice the look in the old guy's eyes sometimes though that we got. He had secrets, good secrets, powerful secrets. Think he told us a few times he wasn't old and we remembered we met him when the had us in Perth Road in Dundee. Important stuff was said. He didn't want to take any chances though he needed it to be over no matter what we said. The slaver took his time when he got round to it and spoke shit to the guy and to us throughout.


That tech was the condition for them helping me and it couldn't get any worse on the tech front.  It was too good to believe that people would help us out as long as they helped us out first with the thing that was an essential factor in anything bad happening to us at all. But it couldn't get any worse. We were just over double digits in Earth years and already loosing count of how pregnancies, how many gang rape abortions, how many infanticides and how many being kept for torture and making them good money. They were far to present, too educated, too thoughtful, too intelligent and too skilled to be Satanists and if they were some kind of fancy Satanists that were just gonna keep us alive for something we would have to deal with the "something" later.

When they got that out us of he smiled at us in away that had us turn scarlet. When we told them about the scarred guy they got really excited and then heart broken. It was obvious how much like he and they were and we said so.

They were quiet then they said that meant they were going to have to put everything they have into helping us because we were the same.

He was shocked at how powerful the effect of the tech and well how trained and skilled in self defense and the anti personael arts when we weren't surrounded by it. They found most stuff pretty quickly and saved us and helped us countless times all day and all night for about twenty years and never used anything we had told them or given to them against us. They left when we were in Dundee it's was hard but we knew they had to, we knew we need to figure out how to rely on and talk to ourselves. We all also knew that I was going to go through hell and he said or rather got us to say it that we knew the only way they would leave us at any time was to come back with more.

Him and a few of them were around last year but only temporary. We have never seen him so relaxed and off duty we had to keep checking with his people that it was him. We had to ask because of the way he was smiling but not looking for much eye contact when usually he's all about peering into the depths, if it was about more than events here and he said something out Earthness has no clue about but she felt positive and slowly even hopeful for herself and us for the first time in a very very long time. Until we found her weeping for Sonny. We had managed to get him there by that point so when started hugging us and telling us he was there it got a lot better.

We told them as well when we could them anything for awhile and made the most of it because they had stripped the house and were not only not treating us not like a slave but were telling us we were special, even among their people who we were all very special compared to all down here. They brought us back to life and then slowly and patiently starting bringing us back to us. They were working with our mother but it took a long time with them before we could hold any mention of her in mind even breifly nevermind ask about if they knew we working for her.  When we said they knew stuff about us only she knew they were so happy they were crying because we remember who we were.

Nothing good and easy got to last for long though but they didn't leave we just had to hide better, act better, organise better, kill faster.  In the begininng espically though it was wonderful happy real and humane people around we heard us, respected us and didn't torture us or babies. Even through all the dissociation we could see the toll it was taking on them though and it made we want to try harder in little ways for them because I needed them. After awhile bigger things to say thank you were possible.

It might of been that first night where they went round all the houses and we pointed everything out and everyone trying to stop us was dropping and sleeping like babies before they reached us that we we told them as part of all the talk about everything because we could and had got our sticky paws on anti mute medicine about how often slavers were talking to us about how Scottish slavery was all about the farming of the extra terrestrials and finding ways to use them to keep everyone everywhere in their place. That raping, torturing and all the horrific shit they had they had gotten from people like me and known of them had ever gotten away. We already knew and knew that sometimes we did get out and we also relieved to hear it expressed so succinctly. It stopped after a while after the free Scottish slavers posh English owners turned up and told them not to along with everything they should and shouldn't do in great detail for years at a time.

We've been thinking about the archaeology that was dug up last year and Sash made the call to just destroy it and by god when we ran our hands through that dust we knew she made the right call.  Much easier of it to be tested in thousands of different places if its already dust anyway..

Recalling the name of some of the info tents and how making the history of drugs sign ourself and the Drugs tents sign to I think.. We got hospital patients involved in making the signs it was really creative chilled time amongst all the carnage. We remember looking at our parents and noticing how they were almost always holding hands and my mum looked up and squeezed it and me felt it and remembered how we put there hands together as a little kid because it made us feel better and they still were..

They were amazing weren't they? They media folk that took out local Satanists trying to protect their slave "culture" by defending the site where it was buried.

Yeah we are feeling a bit better. It's good to be back remembering things that actually happened again. It's much better being here than knowing we would in a very very bad place. It is also of course very good that when we said there wasn't enough understanding about how states were cooperating with us in order to have a threat to their power removed and were planning on mainting the present systems and a core of Satanic slavery after using us to take out all the other slavers who were making demands on our body and mind and be confident that there would be nothing I could do about it because things would be frozen forever the way the Satanists left them, very Murdoch/Trump/Tories/New Labour/dumb drug lord/misogynist/white supremacist/middle class person etc., The tech meant at that time it was going to happen and had put out a message saying we were going die if no one helped us and it picked up and sent on until it reach the right people.


Here's some sleepy kitties..



They are not scared either.







September 18, 2017

Oh my god you fuckers are amateurs

After the second yucky fever dream we gave in texted to look for more weed to pay for tomorrow. We were in those places where most the dreams we are taking place, lost there a million times but still only get vague sense of where we need to go, unwelcoming pubs, a university we have messed too much to catch up on know our way around except these days we do more trying to find our way out again rather tell our self we can catch up, everyone else seems comfortable and happy and often disrespectful to us, sometimes we have a room or flat that is often like the refuge in St Andrews that we never feel comfortable in. Skene came into it to, Margo was there but we knew she is dead and weren't sure if we told her or not, drinking going on, one point we are telling Margo is still horrible to us, why would we do that? She couldn't do much alive? We remember a fair bit of us shouting at a parade or something that was going past a building we were standing outside. About being a slave and everyone being under the control of Fascists I think. The hopeless and powerless was so crushing. We did what we were told do once it got to this point, lay down on the bed the that second upstairs bedroom in Skene and said "Bye Earth" three times, then started processes of.. It's dreamed before but not in 2017. They don't understand our systems they are dynamic and respond to events as they happen, the opposite of Satanic Predetermination.

Recalling more about how things went back to being shitty again last year. Full exposure. It felt so fucking good. All the planning and millions of people involved and instead of me being pinned down and exposed and deconstructed and broken we did it to Satanism. Some very pale faces not there was many around by that point. Fife CID were allowed in because their programming was hacked to try force them to say something true and postive about me which they cant do so all of their heads went down at the same time as they had to turn off their programming. Gave us the oppurtunity to talk how we got a fabulous taped confession from them a long time ago by going in there and pretending to act like they were police and police are not a slave ring. They said they were Satanists, that all of Fife was and always will be Satanic and then proceeding to give a pretty solid outline of their intentions, plans and schemes....

The shock in whatever system had been set up to go in there was real enough that they would think it was a different kind of shock. They left without anyone attempting anything which was very wierd. Whoever it was.. walked away smiling.

The machines.. none scary machines.. they hear us. They record us. They can't shout back. And have told them if they try to put anything than can anywhere near them they will loose more than the freaky ancient tech and without any warning. Soo funny speaking to folk over the phone that have had them for a long time sometimes after all these years of being kept very far away from them. We told we weren't in a place where we understood how phones made it louder but they maybe could but not to try and tell as then because it would just trigger us.

Had them there in Stratheden (LOL!!!) though part of our best day ever plans, so they could explain to us in states where we could not understand because of all the intentional torture aimed at stopping us, with lots of loved ones around away. It wasn't about being able to remember it know it was about soothing the anxieties of specific been the worst and never switched parts. We also needed to to get them through the crap we were going to get from the hospital once the party was over, "have you ever heard voices, have you ever felt like your hands were being controled by someone else, or you certain these things happened and the endless fucking "What do you mean by trafficking?" at the start of every fucking meeting by creatures that were confessing locality to Satan and all up for torturing and killing me and any bairn a few days before..

Imagine how many non Satanic (and probably increasingly non capitalist) folk that we have empowered have been pouring over all that Chris Todd stuff for the last year.. Bit of Satanic kingpin in lots of scenes. We had to tell him about how much of his "power" we had been studying, blowing up and infecting over the past thirty years with very very few people knowing and it was excruciating.. We remember we had to say something in Grahams we were obviously fucking glowin and we needed to make to most of the good feelings before we had to pack them away to protect the plans and us from walking around looking chuffed punishments.

Had to use it keep one of the sons on a track that wasn't Chris's. Really easy to take it away again though with a head that has grown up in all that shit. It worked. He phoned and said thanks on the day. We can never be bothered to remember which one it is and its probably saved us both on many many occasions. We would usually say it was one we were pretty certain it wasn't. It was actually funny when they tried the same shit with the special drugs and special tech support. Just exposed it as the desperate nasty small brainedness it was rather some supernatural evil total power it was just some broken man who needed as many people to suffer before he could get a hard on. As a kind we could see part of its power was in the locals not being familiar with it, this shit didn't come out of the English private school system. First guess was always check the Russians.

And here we are.

September 17, 2017

Oogle away lads

I'm still here, Pabs is still here, blog is still here as far as we can tell anyway no idea about anything or anyone else though.. Cold is still here, we coughed up some pretty solid green slime when we woke up.

What now what noow wot noo?

Nothing we say or do makes any difference so there is no point worrying about it because its all arranged for us and out of our control. We did that thing where write around a subject to reduce the triggers, the need to relief the internal pressure we had to there weeks, maybe months where contact, attempts and attacks from rings trying to get us to publish MLK is our Dad, trying to get the date from us or trying to stop it from ever happening. This left no space or time for much in the way of amnesia. We knew that most of it all was organised from above and we couldn't think why the "above" would want us to have "MLK is our Dad" in or head regardless of wether there was any truth in it.. There was occasions shivers of when they tried to convince us that everything we believed to be good was fake but they never had enough on us for it to work. Then they turned more to the truth that they were going to destroy anything good and we had we waiting for it goading them into it and just smilied at them.

Standing on the purple carpet and yellow walls in the hall in Fintry as we contined with the constant effort of keeping incidents that happened there at arms length, a long with a the half thought processes leading to them and interpretations of them laid down by slavers still centred and healthy enough for recall of the head puppet masters to come through and realised they no longer existed. They were not behind all this MLK stuff and they would no involved in stopping it either. It was quiet a moment sobered of course by the realisation that we were going to have to find away to stop all this constant MLK stuff..

We would have to speak calmly, respectfully and patiently to Americans. We did not want to speak calmy, respectfully  and patiently to Americans. We knew it was going to take some time to arrange without a multiple swabbling satanic rings getting in on it and would have to talk to Eurotools to do it, we could manage calm a bit better with them because respectful and patient had long since stopped being a thing, since around the time of the murder of the twins I think.

Got through it. They knew a lot was down and had never been and never would be briefed on what was left but that we probably did. They tried a bit to get hints of plans out of us but they knew we were going through attempts of some sort constantly and it would be unlikely to get any where. They were blind arrogant cunts through and we couldn't not know how it easy to manipulate blind arragonat cunts by putting a tiny a bit of effort into making them think something they want and need to be true to maintain their blind arrogance is true when it isn't. We walked away smiling. Then were reminded that we couldn't just clear out any living workers then take down the building with as many of the cunts in as we could muster. We felt like a slave again. Then lovely boots and suit and shinyies didn't help they can just make it worse. Then we were reminded again, we couldn't just take them all out then but in the future... We stopped feeling like a slave and proper strode out that building smiling back at all the middle class white boys oogling us. Noticed one who wasn't and was intending on working past us without making eye contact. We felt the slaved in him and when he was close we got him to look and he got a wink.

He managed to look at us back in way that gave us chills and flashbacks so we changed our mind about if and when and if he still worked there we would make sure he was out and make sure he was in instead.

Talks with the Yanks and their partners were just as exhausting as we expected but we had prepared well for what the slavers were saying to trigger and generally make us unable to continue but we had some experience of working a little bit with some of the non slavers and they had talked quite nicely to us mostly and that got us through. We had to explain that the only thing these networks were on arrangement on was that there should be slavery and that definitely included me and if it looked like it was even possible for me to not be slave then the only thing they would agree on is killing me. We also had to explain that the only reason the blog existed was because of the damage done to the higher levels and how that made it possible to influence the remaining rings and tell them the blog was another distraction and recruiting tool but more and more of them were waking up to this. We made sure we had informed them in a formal setting about the operations and murders culminating on August the 10th and dates the following years, like when we were forced into hospital. Someone said that was really important and it felt right when we did it. The nice clothes started feeling good and we our words flowed easier.

We got the usual less than bare fucking minimal from them, just enough so we probably wouldn't die from the MLK so we would be alive for all the other shit planned. Leaving we remembered we didn't really think more was possible from them we just needed to believe and appear to believe it going in. Thank fuck that it was over. We tried to think of future occasions where we would have to speak patiently and politely to American slavers and our brain was coming up with zilcho.

We walked away smiling, very deeply.








one last cup of tea..

Of course we are bloody scared. Was that not how we got it past one of the computers? The only left to maintain our fear level? That computer was not designed for us so it didn't know bugger all about our anxiety levels.. The one they built for us and using us during our life time we don't have any casual this shit is ridiculous memories about it. Although we are getting memories of us in a work place/institution type corridor try to get their before conceding it wasn't possible it related to too much very severe childhood traumas for me and by sisters and kept me in constant fear that wasn't going to go away by getting parts in touch with each other or talking about. Not for a long time anyway and that meant we would have to communicate despite the danger.. Don't think it's gone. They were persuaded to turn it down and stop using it so much but I'm pretty sure that it is part of the reason we are still here.

We don't think it's gone but we are not that scared of it either. We did notice over the last few years in particular that the triggers they were using and verbal abuse they were giving me was having very little effect but again will be because we stopped that programmer/torturer who was visiting very regularly and forcing us back into the state they had us in during the 90s.  The anger we felt whenever we realised this along with all the people he needed help with to do it.. its not driving us like it was but it's still pretty strong.

Guess we could try sleeping. It will be good. We have got more of our brain back that makes us much less vulnerable to all the sleep tricks anyway as does being able to take basic care of yourself and knowing there is more going on right now than Satanic Patriarchy, it's power is lessened when you have a Daddy who loves you and fights for you and doesn't hurt you and respects you.

And we have our mum, who we think has a name that sounds like My.. but we are still hiding a bit from memories of her out of fear left by twisted emptied out people in the past and a present where evil and the shells they carve out to represent them has all the formal power.  She is just as awesome and just as despised by Earth authorities. Knowing decent Americans could not believe the truth about her kept a huge distance between us and them. The wedding though and all the surrounding ops, we saw her shake hands with someone and had to stop to take a minute over it because decent Americans knowing the truth about my mum is one of those things the bastards here have always tautened us with as an impossibility.   It stopped being an impossibility last summer.. More momentousness..

September 16, 2017

still here!

Don't worry. We texted a couple of people and now have a little bit more weed we will pay for on Tuesday. While we waited we managed to talk ourself into dragging ourself up, doing some hoovering, dishes and make some tuna pasta for us and the lad and munching down a decent sized bowl. We felt a bit better after and did more cleaning. Eventually managed to remove the shrink wrapped and sellotopes double layer of black plastic bag that was round the broom handle we ordered cause the other one broke. We have started it a couple of times over the last week but had to give in. Got through it today and deminged the kitchen a bit. It's a bit of a state though and needs work, the vinyl on the floor is in tatters in a couple of places and there is a bit missing where a dish washer or something must of been and they never lifted it to put flooring under, the seal came of the sink and we made an attempt to put more on but its coming off now to and it stinks round there, the cupboards are falling to bits in places to. The landlord is evil though and if he sends any workers round they are useless. The guy who checks the boiler and does some handy work was round the other day, we said the shower temp had started getting really inconsistent he said it was pressure and did something he said would fix it but it isn't, the downstairs bathroom stopcock is wonky and the toilet makes that refilling noise most of the time, he said he fixed that again but hasn't..

Long, long way from where they want us though if these are the biggest day to day issues with our "accommodation"..

Had a shower, put on clean jammies, lit some candles in our freshly hoovered room. Now we are gonna make a cup of tea and roll another and stay centered on that feeling of being someone who is known and someone who is loved and someone who has and will known a life and experiences beyond that negotiated between and forced on us by slavers and capitalists.

We can't believe it Daddy. It's too wonderful.


..I'll be able to use 'King' longer before we can say or write it..

I fucking done it Daddy!!

"Our father who lived, worked and fought under the identity of Martin Luther King before being betrayed and forced into facilities where he was subject to years of extreme slavery, torture and experiments. Our mother is, like us the product of millenniums of slavery and breeding programs, ancient resistance efforts and war.."

It's in the "about" page though and we wont it written better and bit more finished before we hit publish and thats gonna take a while..

Heading back to the flat in Dundee walking across the field, a bunch of goons grabs us. We were weak and dissociated but not broken and out of it.

"Tell us when you are puttin on that blog that MLK is your Dad."

The four or five of them looked very determined. We weren't in a condition where we needed to bullshit we had no fucking clue. We did find ourself wondering about the accent and where the faces where familiar from.. Edinburgh? No doubt considered "serious dudes" by people who don't care or arn't smart enough to know better.. But the upfront brain didn't even know what an Edinburgh was and was really struggling with basic language skills quite badly for a moment before centering long enough to say anything,

"What?"

Their faces twisted and all but one moved in and we did what we do when we dont know what to do and when we opened our eyes we were on the ground and so were they, but they were gurgling and convulsing and we were okay to get up, be thankful and keep walking.

Sasha was hiding out back in the flat and she could see we were particularly confused and not there looking. Eventually we just came out with it,

"Sasha is Martin Luther King my Dad?"

She had that shocked look people get when someone says something you can't say cause they are listening. We swore under our breath, we really didn't know anything about anything but bits and pieces were coming back and we had the sense that this was normal for us. We waited for whatever was going to happen next. Neither of us saying a word.

The phone rang. Better than a knock at the door. Generally. He didn't sound to high up, we barely got anxious at all the sound of his voice and his words. We told him the truth, that we didn't know anything and some blokes came along and asked us when we were gonna blog about our Dad being MLK and we didn't know what they were on about, then they went for us so we closed our eyes and when we woke up they were all dieing and were still there we could see them lying on the soggy field, it was pretty dreich and misty day. We gathered enough smarts to feel the seriousness in the air and then act like we were completly oblivious to it and said it was probably just some shit to confuse us and make us look like a liar or mad person. We weren't sure if he was buying it but he did seem to want to call to be over.

After we handg up me and Sash exchanged a bloody hell that was close/oh shit/omg things might change type look and went back to some nice silence and peace for a while. Think she curled up next to us and had a nap and we watched her sleeping and fantasied, planned and thought very deeply about war, war, war.. marriage, war..

That programmer that ended up with a one of Bill's carving knife through his brain. He was a regular to us and the room, he was like once a week because it was the only way they could keep us down. The rings were tattered anyway. We faked the call to the English masters pretending to be their boss and saying he was needed elsewhere and that someone else was taking care of us and they should not worry about it and not ask questions.

Lots of Scots increasingly desperate to get rid of us before the English found out he had died on their watch and it was years later and we were doing so much better without him and whatever he had on us when we had to use it to get the Scots to back off by making out that we accidentally let is  slip to the English that the Scots had not only let it happen but had encouraged us as part of their Satanic National Socialist Scotland plans which we were very real but much less possible without the prick with the knife through his head but the bosses weren't gonna know how much said prick had been manipulating them and working with the Scots for his own interests and tastes.

They were not happy. Standing in the bedroom with me on the bed but it's Fintry now and not Skene or somewhere even worse saying it was out fault there wasn't going to be an independent Scotland like the vote hadn't been effectively determined centuries ago. Every murder, every discloser and we were less and less dissociated around them and was more and more able to see them for the pathetic powerless tools they were. Think we maybe took that time to tell that a good few of the voices of authority that had been given them information, instructions and mind control help to keep them dissociated and following orders had been us. Most of them laughed it off like they laugh everything of but we felt it, a chill go through some of the less experienced members that it was entirely possible and in the some of the longer termers.. a sense of having heard this before before loosing their concentration... We were so glad we were awake to watch the the cracks spread.

The women that were there were still thinking their ring within a ring within a ring was all kinds of powerful with their oh so secret rich white male and anxious black slaver support that they had access to us that no one else had. They started questioning that more when things with Elaine and  Jacqui and us didn't go as planned and we hacked one of their disgusting wetware systems and made her run into a wall with a knife pointed at her chest and made her teenage boy companion who still acted under her orders even after that happened in front of him to clean up.

Our efforts to get our Scottish and other slave parts to take our own powers more seriously and be less phobic of it all really got somewhere that night.

I don't know how many Scottish, British, American, Russian and others have told us they will kill Pablo is we say or publish about the whole MLK being our Dad thang and what they did to him. We got to though and many of them said they would do the same if we didn't give out today's date and not many got it, if any and we are both still here. Besides as always we can't keep our self or him safe by following white power and slaver orders.We certainly wont get Sonny back or make it possible for me to see my husband that way either.

*breathes*





September 15, 2017

Lucky Star

I love you blog. And we love you codiene, weed, epsom salts hot water baths and cups of tea. We don't love you "common cold virus". You are a cunt..

More money from N most of it already gone to C. £30 worth.. should still have enough left for one or two in the morning.. maybe.. oh well..

..

"Chris Todd"

He said walking towards us on the road the goes past the hospital through the tiny wee village but it was busy, everything was on we had a very full itinery and other stuff to constantly deal with. Think we were going from one line to another, heading towards the Cupar side.

"What about him?" We had no time for tossers and nasty attempts at triggering us, its not like there wasn't anyone around that would help us out. We don't know the precise words he used. We didn't hear them then and had to ask him to repeat. He did. We were felt a bit overwhelmed. He asked as quickly before we had to time to take it in,

"Did you program Seth to murder Chris Todd?" We were back in Glen Prosen in the late 80s as soon as he said and quite tiny. We could smell the woods and the rain and were being flung from traumas to talking to rescues to planning to being given keys and we knew we had to stay in the present it was all on, everyone was here or on their way, all kinds of evil was being attempted or being done to victims else where because they could not get to us. We came back to the present via an incident not far from were we then. An older couple who couldn't act on Satanic plans that close to where we were and us not know about it. We found the last vial of the worst drug ever on them. They were horrific of course and them and their slave/daughter were shot. We could see it starting to dawn in peoples eyes that it all might be over one day. We couldn't believe it was the last vial anymore than we could believe the news about Chris Todd. What use were pictures in our head. Those boys had showed us again and again we could not trust ourself.

"Yes."

We weren't sure though we were all confused and messy but he sorted that out for us by growling, "You are not the Quine" and coming for us.

Think he was dead before most people had turned round. Some passing said something glib about it being "the quine" after all. No one could believe it when we told them what he had said. It was wonderful watching the colour drain from the slavers around and a hint of light coming into the eyes of those who weren't. When we spoke to Graham he couldn't believe it either. We still don't believe it. It's very possible but we don't believe. He maybe said something about Anthony being gone to but we couldn't take it in even if it is true. Bertie? We have a flashes of a violent something that we definitely would of won. Same with Jacqui though we are programmed heavily to always feel under these people and the triggers for feeling like that is living here without any contacts that can remind me of the truth.

We hope more people become aware of the facts of these people whatever the facts are we know they are extreme and they are many like them that are definitely still alive all over the place.

We do feel very confident that there isn't any the kryptonite drug left. We can not remember much details but we can remember feeling confident and oh so so glad about it.

It's frustrating of course never being sure about anything but we would rather that than think something is impossible when it isn't.

Yeah details of some of our murders of long long term abusers that didn't want their names in our head when we were amnesiac have been coming back. Pleby scum bursting in the room all a glee in Skene, cause he heard noise and assumed we were being assaulted but we weren't this time. Think we wrote about it before, how Bill has the magnetic knife rack and keeps them well sharp. We can remember the brief look of shock on his face then we looked away and had to breathe. It was quite a long knife and we had aimed it upwards below his chin with as much as we could find and it went right in, our thumb and finger were touch the skin of his throat. The noises he was making was pretty bad we focused thinking about the contents of that brain of his and how much he had taken from us and others and how it would never stop and knew we needed to know that brain was mess and nothing but mess and no one and nothing would be getting anything out of it ever.

It was very grusome for a part who had been trained to be phobic of self defense. She's knew she was in this body though and the help she need most for what she needed to do was in there with her she just had to find a way to access them. Hands covered in warm slaver blood and its just me and them.. good morning me..

His glee ended when he saw what was actually going on all the mess and dying master. Think he said something as he turned and ran but didn't get far.  We had a sister or someone to wake up we remember that as we looked at the warped door to the little room that didn't close properly but we needed a minute first we didn't know what we were doing or if our thoughts were our own or the shit they blasted at you to make you go mad. We breathed for a moment and it came back to us like a happy kid in a happy home waking up and suddenly remembering it's Christmas. We back to the where the older richer better educated tool was and just stood there. It was strange to be both so triggered and calmed at the same time as we watched him bleed his last. There plenty flashes of much less calmer deaths in our mind but they didn't have much of an impact, there was the dissociated total numbess at the sight of all the gore but that couldn't blanket over a rippling sense that we could be and that it was going to get better, much much better.

The arrangement of parts they had us in and the traumas they had used to force them into being and performing certain task was falling away in some places and we could see glimpses of ourself and people who loved and fought for us and themselves. Then we remembered there was some to wake up. Whoever it was wasn't good though and they stood there over the bodies going on about how trying to change the way things were was bad because it was false hope because it was all how things were supposed to be in nature or some utter utter ridiculous that made me understand that it wasn't just fear that kept us dissociated it was also boredom and the frustration at being surrounded by the victims of very serious forms of brainwashing.

"So your saying they programmed me to do this."

"They must of or it wouldn't of happened."

"So its possible to program people to end the slavery."

"No it needs to happen. Its determined.. Nothing matters" She said it looking down on him and we got the feeling she was numbing herself and stopping herself for thinking or reacting in anyway to what was going just as we had both be trained to do if something unexpected happened.

"To you." We said and went of to figure out what to do about the bodies and to just be awake and alive and feel our own flesh not being brutally attacked. I think after we came round a little more we realised nothing good would come to us or anyone else when that other slave talked and there was so sign in life in her at all we where remembering how long she had been there with us and truly a robot she was and how there was nothing out here can help her and went reluctantly back up stairs. We puked after that one but we couldn't help thinking it wasn't what we did that had us puking it was those dead eyes in body that is under attack and life is threatened. No survival instinct. No soul. No person.

As the Scots and their white power networks were keeping everything quiet and didn't want involvement from others there was more fury about the loss of the slave, a good earner for them than the programmer or the thug. It was years before the English found out but we had had those years without whatever he did to us and they were not so scary.





September 14, 2017

Some ancient Eastern shit that like no fucker knows about

Seem to feel about the living room a bit like we did about this room last year before hospital. Its all gonna start and end with the same scum bags isn't, you feel the resentment in the Scottish women handing me over to the English establishment types at the door here because they weren't the English establishment types that would bull shit and groom them. They were the types to be reminding the women of the place in front of me and they didn't like that all and were almost a desperate to take such men down as they were determined to protect and maintain the slavery.

Think this was a time when we were taken from Dundee and after the times before when it was becoming increasingly obvious that their long term programming had not been working like it was supposed to. We were quite awake, very focused on our plans and they were not their usual arrogant confident selves they were quieter and looked deeply worried. The verbal bit went more or less like they would of expected but when one of them stepped forward to grab we put our head and our arms up and looked him straight in the eye.. which wasn't supposed to be possible for me to do we could see the panic in four of them. They started frantically saying trigger words and we acted confused then like one of them worked and put our head down again. Knowing they would be taking us home sharpish. They had to make calls though and we knew we would have to fight if the level above them got involved that night but we knew there wasn't much, not in terms of skill anyway left and there would not want to risk them to us acting unpredictable. My god the relief we felt when we overheard one of them say nothing was being done about me that night.

We realised we didn't actually have to keep our head down and pretend or keep ourself out of it anymore, there was nothing they could do about it. It felt to horrid though so we went back down and went deaf and mute when they tried to talk to me. They led us back to the car and during the drive back to Dundee we used the time and silence in the car to slowly and carefully bring ourself round and actually ended up enjoying the scenery and the change, the massive change in our chances. Think when we got back to Fintry we just ignored them got out the car and went home, one of our sisters was waiting for us

Of course any "ancient Scottish torture skills" were appropriated, maintained and controlled by English long, long ago. Scotland is where they practice their colonial skills and ideologies then expect the same shit to work elsewhere and get surprised when people resist. It was quite powerful stuff but we knew they had searched for and incorporating skills in producing a dissociated fully controllable subject from a human being for a very long time and that as they were thieves reading lines and did not fully understand what they were doing.

Still though because if it's "supposed" to be some of the most powerful programming we have had it will be in slave head. It is annoying that much of it still functions although the forces that made them powerful are gone and there wasn't much above of the rich posh English, Americans with other slaves sometimes and old Eastern stuff we haven't undone much of and is really not known about at all so we don't get asked about it.

We had to walk away when English folk who have earned our trust were talking about possible plans to get Sonny and me together so we wouldn't leak them. We knew it would be impossible for us to trust them completely considering their accents, where they were educated, the families they were from etc and also knew we need not worry about them planning the opposite to because there were plenty that will never take their eyes of them. Doesn't feel likely that there will a knock at the door and it's Sonny being dropped of my some English military type. Especially now they can't use Liz to convince us they alive enough to reject slavery. They can keep her well broken in twin that can only follow instructions but they can't keep my mum's pal, she is not very good at making friends and they need each other.

There is much less anxiety and power in the triggers after you tell lots of people and have them told about what has happened and what is planned. It really breaks the spell. I don't think there is anything that cant break slaver mind though not once they fully installed it and cut of any connections to anything else. Of all the sciences and arts and skills humanity could of been perfecting but not here they did away with all that focused everything into taking, making and keeping slaves so they would not have to worry about anything else.. It's a shame that its all happened, that there has been so much intentional horror and suffering for so long we hope it gets better for them soon but we hope it gets better for us sooner.

They expected and tried to get us to speed work through the Brexit negotiations, anything they got out of us they lost but that means they have to torture others for it.. we are sorry about that but we are not here to suffer and be used as a weapon against our own interests to ease the suffering of others and thinking we would just shows your satanic slave mind in action. Where is the value in humanity if some are made to suffer, that's not a faith to help get you through its a political and economic system to keep you angry scared stupid and in your place. Indeed the enforcers think slavery in democratic states is hilarious because if people don't vote as their told they could end up a slave so they all do exactly as they are told.. If we can speak we only ever have one answer "that's not democracy." .. We get various nastiness and promises of punishments for that.

Don't know if the major script holders in the East are still a thing. We remember clearing one location out or rather getting in to collect the materials after the drone hit it to destroy them and stop the Americans or their allies or enemies from getting a hold of them. We thought for a minute when we had those few sheets of paper in our hands about how strange it was that so much misery and power can be deemed from a few sheets of paper until another bit of us reminded us it was a sheets of paper in many wrong hands and massive programs of violence and oppression.  Well at least we could get rid of the few sheets of paper. We really wished and wish we could do something about the culture these programs have made but we have tried but just get treated with so much hate it's impossible.

Love you Sonny thinking about you a lot like we said we would be able to by now. Hope you get to finally meet Pablo soon and see our Friends again.


pretty pretty pretty

Really quite chuffed with this place.. Changing that title.. Big step huh? We like it. "Daffodil Rites" was always about working blind desperate for some clue or sign to tell us we were on the rails laid done by ourself and people who care and not those laid down by machines built to crush us and then use our parts to keep everyone else crushed. Very difficult to see any signs when you can't see much and don't know what anything means when you do glimpse something and that is how we are supposed to be.  Our intellect and education is kept separate to be accessed mainly by middle class abusers to benefit them only.

It never works quite that well though and people who have been separated from their intellects can't generally have them turned back on by someone saying a magic word. Most skills appear to work because another ring has forced victims to act like it does hopefully until it becomes automatic and nothing else is remembered. There needs to be no reminders for that to work. Everything has to been done "properly" to have a chance of working and that is not the mind set of the average slaver who want as much as they can get as quickly as possible..

So inside and between rings their is constant manipulating, horrific violence and attempts at total control over one another and the slaves and what is said to the higher hierarchies who usually have them under permanent surveillance but acted like they only put cameras in for important work on slaves, children and ring members and said they were not interested in putting those charged with day to day control of the slaves under the same total surveillance that they generally have us under.

Those higher ups often exposed their entire system to us because they made sure everyone lower than them only believed what they wanted them to believe. They would do this stuff where they would try and get us to speak in first person from their perspective.. to have their voice as the only voice we have. They had a lot of info on our parts and triggered us until they found one that would respond. These sort of wealthy upper class establishment English types are mostly probably still alive as they tend to stay out the way and getting near them to take them out has always been impossible for us. They have the population rigged up to protect them and still believe they have all the power because in May, Trump and the EU and other huge institutions in the state they are in they are to be smug because they do. All that winding up lower orders, minorites and women is ever been about is keeping everyone against each other and keeping us too enslaved and traumatized to reach them. But there owners don't want them to know and understand that so they don't.

..We did make out that these lower orders were getting more support than they had though and were getting more from us than they were. The surveillance got messed with and they believed it and would let us kill rapists because we convinced their bosses they were no longer loyal. Very ugly but beautiful. It was not impossible to get people to help us against English Establishment scenes but it had always been very rare to get help from within the British Isles and Ireland.. There was some bull some nastiness involving offers to help us from people who weren't who said they were who were working for people who hadn't told them who they were. A slim chance but something so important it was worth the risk. When it was confirms as nasty bs we had ask someone to stop someone else being pulled into this bull and ended up telling him the whole story. He offered, we gave him the details but didn't think they would manage.

Had us on our arse on the field outside the hospital when we called and said it was done. They had met as planned, it was another very important slaver date and the boys went in shot them all and then ran away. The police and other local horror stories all over the place were not paying attention to anything that was happening they were all engrossed in grossed fiction we had to make up to keep the sick fucks busy. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. We had to do it or their would be no wedding or worse the start of the most wonderful wedding we could give ourself that was then interrupted by very furious and threatened white power satanic slave handlers.

There was a couple of times we thought it might be all over but the support and defense was in place or got their in time. So many people we haven't seen in so long because we had to get them far away from us and slavers or they wouldn't of made it and we needed them to make it to provide security for our wedding at a psychiatric hospital in satanic slaver central. Not our first choice of locations or venues..

It's was good to the see the odd rare non rapey pig wondering about with big smiles on their chops and real tears in their eyes that were not there out of hate and anger..

We've been working on the "about" page again. It is coming along and there might even be some structure emerging! It's called Some words about what words mean to us.. So it's gonna focus on why this exists, a bit about how but we know thats mostly ridiculously complicated hard work so not much, maybe an overview but we might do that separately..

We have come a very long way and done so much too help ourself. We can see it here in our blog and its too late and too complicated for them to just to take it down and quietly dispose of us and everyone else who cares about me.. Thats kinda exciting..

This tree is from a year or two ago.. we freaked out at how good it was starting to look and couldn't go back to it.



We are always want to draw trees. Hope it's not just because of slave brain.




September 13, 2017

*laughter* no I'm sorry but we will never stop saying thank you about those chemical plants..

Doubt we will go far from our cozy space today. Fairly sketched a lot of the missing pieces from my slave head over the past few months and that means there is much less anxiety being caused by the intentional triggering of things we are programmed to be too phobic to deal with. There is still plenty slave related anxieties but we have a growing sense of what we are, where we have been, who matters most now we are not entirely devoted to figuring out ways to survive and keep others alive through attacks and captures before they happened. So much manipulating our own and others DID in order stay alive, keep others alive, to keep rapists as dumb as possible.  So much of that was horrible and we could not of done it if wasnt part of carefully worked out plans long under way that were absolutely the only way things could get better. We are not proud of it doing some of what we have done has taken a lot from us. Seeing the total disregard and disinterest most people have for their own minds and own histories helped though. The were already doing much worse to themselves everyday that anything we stepped in to do once or twice.

It's good to know more but it feels too normal to be all the exciting. Big parts of our brain never forgot anything they just were separated from the slave consciousness. Destroying the technologies, the skills, was the same as getting them back because it was the promise of further use of the tech that made the walls between slave me and real me. Non of it was going to be possible without taking out the worst of the drugs. For all the corporate capitalist and wholesale market selling of extremely brutal social control methods the worst of the worst was pretty much still jealously guarded by whoever had it from the other slave orgs. If others wanted the skills/science or whatever then they would have to do a deal with them for them to step in or give those that didnt have it temporary access to it in some way.

We knew we were done for is we couldn't reduce the access the Brits got to certain complex non street or registered officially anywhere drugs. Any type of consciousness and many states of unconsciousness and we knew those drugs were no being made in the West. My god how we wept whenever specific details about where they were being made, held or delivered. Without those drugs there was hope but with those drugs we could not see how it could ever get any better. We had no resistance to whatever they did to us they took all self control of the DID away and reduced us to pure programming which thankfully was often too contradictory in us to work because of the wholesale selling.

It's the kind of thing where there would sometimes be a fair bit of cooperation from authorities. We can remember doing working in America and India along side actual official military and security personnel who were in uniform, on the clock etc easier to remember snippets from big nations because there will be more to remember. Other places we would get local civilian support and no resistance. Sometimes we could do it from the air and their will be bastards who still don't know who did it and are blaming each other. Not over here though. Destroying the worst of the anti Quines drugs was the type of thing there would be plenty cooperation across the rings to stop us from doing and stop us from doing again. Getting that real makes a difinite obvious difference work on UK soil involves getting the most serious support we can locate and has been some of the hardest most dangerous work we have ever done which meant we did them in a mind state that just doesn't make much long term linear memories which means we don't have to worry about almost all the rings finding out and those that could where getting to low enough numbers we didn't see them much. We knew we had to make sure they didnt know about the loss of the drugs and get them thinking something was going on so they would bring in the head cunts administer the drugs that were always administered before the head head cunts would get in a room with us ("Nae resisting these days like you used to. Good. Its for the best. The best for you and the bairns to." We remembered to stop looking like we were not bothered and looked sad it was not our best work and the tool looked at us for a minute like they knew something was up but then stopped because they are not supposed to think for themselves. (lolololololol))

We were a bit disappointed that it was only one elite and he wasn't that high or skilled relative to what was still alive and active at that time, one assistant and one security but once it was over and we were able to properly look at who and what we had just ended we went fucking mental. Howling and hollering. The Scots were there soon enough and started howling and hollering in a very different way. We told them to go hurry up and phone whoever they were going to phone next. The system wouldn't be sending anything more essential for a while that was for sure it was gonna be endless replaceables. We knew we would need to take a break before we stated going through them faster than they could replace them or the kids would have no chance. We hate the way we always find we can hate all the professionals and populations that are tolerating all this a bit more.

When we headed into the meetings with the largest sources in China we were all expecting it get full on military and not in a cooperating with us type of way really quick. We know most of the programming is built for Western brains and the same stuff does not work on different people and different cultures but still we were not expecting humanoids who gave very convincing displays of being really good and talent people and that kind of threw us off.. Needless to stay the work got done and it was a pleasure to make sure the collateral was limited to none.

We left genuinely hoping to work with them again but worried about how they would survive domestic Chinese systems but they already had amazing skills in that department and we couldnt see what harm could ever be done to us by helping them out in that area. We remember saying something like we are happy to help people against extreme and violent state control anyway they didn't have to keep being nice to us and regretted it pretty instantly because after a moment of hurt and confusion they told us how much they knew and what they thought about the work we did and what was being done to us because of it. We used the discomfort to ground us out of slave head and really got down to business.

We can feel palpable relief at having filled in some of the clear constant recall of some of the last programming that happened before we left Skene. The evil Scottish professional women had got access to stuff they hadn't had access to for a while. Some bull that had been spread to help us had been found out and business was to be resumed. We knew the source wasn't going to be around for long but would be to help the women etc with this. We knew the only way to stop the us from giving them the information they wanted and they had to not have would be to push ourself back to a place we we might not get out of again. They had taken our sister and Sonny. Their Dundee based planing and scheming and arranging and abusing was well under way. But we did know for internal, and several external sources including their gloating before hand that was part of their regular procedures we never really understood because it meant we got help for lots of stuff we wouldnt of if they hadn't. We guessed it was part of the "keep things as they are forever" system settings that they mostly could not understand. We couldn't stop it. But we did get help from far away immediately after so the real memories of what we told the women was lost to them and they had a head full of what they were taught to expect and want instead. We used the same tricks with Jacqui lots and were doing it without support again soon enough.

They looked so smug as they left and did not think we had ever felt so much like a person and a slave ever before and that "we" then hadn''t. It was a major step in being able to reconnect us all under our own terms.
We have pretty a bit about it before and think/hope we said we didn't think the information they wanted was about ongoing stuff for us and the world back then but we do now. They need to information so they can set up backers, producers, internet feeds and servers etc and the cover up ops and of course the means to incapacitate us and the order and arrange the rapists and torturers and tortures..

One of those undead bot bitches said to us when we they had us small and vulnerable and we said we needed to rest something like "aye you rest Rosie. Rest and rape that's all your life is gonna be now." and it still gets to us even though our life has involved a hell of a lot more than rape and rest. We have taken out and helped arrange the taking out of a lot of evil, we have completed so much of the work we planned to do and got married and that specific horror story is most likely long dead for fucks sake but think cause she used "Rosie" it still gets to us.

But we knew that day the horror and the most horrific and physical forms of slavery were over for us but we still have all the other shit to deal with and wouldn't have major slave brain. Then it came through oh yeah rest without rape is actual rest and we had laid out so many step for ourself with the blog post programming. Pretty cool the whole convincing rapists that we had to write about abuse because other slavers us told us to so they could set up a 'she was not anymore but its all sorted now thing.' The rings that would make the local scenes back down if we suggested bringing them in were often long or recently gone and some cases never existed and were made up as part of long term anti slaver plans..

We are thinking since it came today and its bringing up vague specifics involving the undead bot bitches and them getting specifics about today.. I think we may of said we wanted the one we have and they would try and steer us away from that because that would be us acting on our own will instead of theirs. We were really quite awake and well prepared and quite quickly conceded and said we would get a different one that they could make some slaver connotation or symbolic value to and we said we will blog the picture of the bin so they would know we were still a good girl and we think we will it is a very pretty bin. We are comfortable with how much we have let ourself buy flowery feminine things we want to recognise other aspects of ourself. And old motercycles are cool and the colours are different the normal shit we buy to. Think we said because it says "Indian" that is to do with colonialism so the other slavers would not be okay with that and they said that they owned us now and we just said "okay". Scottish women, in Scotland. The boss of all slavery everywhere. Good luck with that ladies. Guess that Assange mother fucker isn't looking quite so believable now..

 So fuck it we are gonna post it and hope it isn't a trigger that means shit reaches our door, thats the new slippers we bought to and some dirty knickers we may or may not get round to picking up today. We wanted to give more so there is the flowers and the fairy we see from the increasingly falling to bits kitchen sink.. and something that surely the evil bitches have not approved us blogging at them (surely?) and the rest of the slaver world and supporting networks who don't want to physically dirty the hands with my blood but kinda need someone to be doing it. Another donation to the NHS in that area.. hope y'all enjoy.. maybe this time it is the last you will get. You never know.

If we are blogging about something it generally means we have talked and talked about it to people who were listening, who cared and can help so we are not feeling to rotten. It would be great to not interact with the programming but it's impossible when its been worked into specific tiny and huge events in great detail.

The wedding plans were worked in then to. We said we would not be able to get our parts to agree stop fighting was if we got a lovely wedding and dumb bot bitches were told very little by there slightly more educated dumb bot male counterparts had no idea we have pulled the line repeatedly. Think we had had them believing they would get a wedding night feed that the men would not get. Again. Lol.

Yes when it comes to the major slave brain we have made a good start and certainly not in a place that would make those bitches smile like that and it doesn't matter if we get paranoid and start thinking its all nasty tricks and its about to real bad for a real long time because non slave brain us knows it isn't going to happen and us thinking it will is not going to change that. Poor slave brain. They're is and will be war. But we can still beg for a bit longer. Where is Sonny? Please.









Love you Friends

They got to us in time it had been working. They left my sister they don't know her so well and it was me and tiny baby Sonny the slaver plans were for that night and we wouldnt of been able to take it. They are very not humanoid and we have found them held in all kinds impressive contraptions and fields and recognised the slavery straight away. On higher levels we knew there were other reasons why we had to get them home. Humans freak out but they need to communicate some important stuff so they put pictures in your head of something and someone more familiar and related to you. When they do that to us we get very triggered and we arn't going to be overwhelmed by looking at whatever I can see with see eyes and brain. They don't get the DID much or amnesia so interactions with them have often ended up just floating around and making up usness.

They got us out in time to give Sonny what he needed to survive Todds and the rest of the rings. They got to us in time to fix me up enough to survive these years since. When the slavers asked we were we had been and who had obviously been looking after us we always said it was some slavers who had left us unable to remember because they didn't want us talk about them to anyone. Sometimes we would have to make up something more but we would have help with that. The scum would be seething at healthy and strong and difficult to touch we were whenever we came back. A few times we told the truth and it wasn't believed in any way shape or form. For reason we can't remember but no doubt to do with power they knew nothing about where some of the creepy shit they used came from despite knowing so much about everything else, we thought it was faked like so much else the slavers did and said, we thought it was the beings themselves for awhile but it didn't really fit because seemed to be built into the base levels of all the slavers programming.

The elites were the ones who knew we were not lying and when it got back to them and some came to us to find out what had occurred we knew exactly what we had to do and took them out. Some of the worst American and English rings had been told and shown stuff especially after the murders when those remaining tried everything to stop us getting to them and did a good job of that for most but not good enough as I am here and they are not. Russians of course. The worst of them had seemed of known a lot about my friends for a very long time and there is always more of them than Brits. We don't seem to be scared of them any more and we know we very deeply and rightly were they were running so much with very few knowing. They liked to gloat and show their work of to slaves though because no one will ever hear us, believe us or be in a position to do anything without the massive surveillance networks and abuse systems kicking in and stopping it. People often seem to like showing of in front of slaves. It's weird.

We are looking forward to remembering a bit more about how that has gone from a issue of sheer terror and massive crushing responsibility to meh..Think opening up to my friends and showing them the full extent of the horror and the systems is a factor. We remember telling Sophie (? sorry if wrong) that they were so angry like I had never seen them angry before and that I thought we were going to get out. All of us.

As soon as Earth comes into view or our eyes open the slave mentality, the ptsd, the DID, the fear for our life, body and sanity just obliterates pretty much all the details of what has happened but the drive to find everyone who knew how to torture and enslave my Friends and force them to torture and enslave humans and their materials had to be dealt with or everything else was pointless.

We used to think they were the goodness we sometimes feel in the earlier and restricted humans that are mostly inhabit this place was our Friends, always. We have been in places since where we were looking at something after doing lots of study when away with them and were closing our mind down back down in preparation for leaving and thinking christ we were right.

They hate that we have to shut our mind down to survive here and we have always agreed, its a crucial part of the slavery though and they said they would help us. We said we thought the probably had to, as soon as it was safe for them to do so.






September 12, 2017

Ancient Evil Scottish Slavery Skills No Longer For Sale (I think)

In the ninities we knew we would be hit with layer upon of bullshit and pretense before the showed us the real goodies. They need the part that is given information like this to be very very deep down and accessible only to them and no one else. We of course shared it and it got some help with making things slightly less horrific from some of the further away wealthier slavers for a while and the white power Brits and co took that down as well. We are not in a can talk about it with certainty and confidence with plenty primary sources place of course more of a pacing whatever room we were in Skene partly figuring shit out, partly remembering and also just refreshing slaver propaganda in our head.

They had access to the script, the detailed list of future events. We did our best took make it difficult for them to access and use it as much as possible but they were always working towards it. If it's in they told us then it can be in theirs to. The hated it being used against them so it was kept in small numbers of elites with families handing down parts of skills and always on the look out for more. It wasn't during the torture that elite expected to get their results but when we were sleeping. They had an fairly unsurpassed understanding of sleep, D.I.D and the mental connections between twins, mass trauma, synchronicity and of course the breeding and the cutting as well as how to torture without killing. They were given plenty of training in that, plenty opportunity for consquenceless trial and error when they were growing up and when they are training new recruits. But it was the skills they have in getting you to answer questions in exhausted dissociated sleep was what we could not fight and what keeps things going.

It was a power we think many genuinely otherwise literate,bright normal people believe was handed to them by satan to allow them to be slavers forever and maintain world wide injustice and inequality forever, many more just have as an accepted part of their social, family and economic lives. They all have their roles to play and have be led, forced and groomed into believing they must preform these roles without question or regard for bigger pictures. They can not imagine a life without that role because they were brutalised into their whole sense of being and self esteem rests on this role and the systems. There is nothing else. Look around. We can understand in away. There really is nothing else and no permanent sign of change just protected scum they know to be slavers because they helped train them in power. There is no reason, no motive to turn against everything and everyone if you have been part of it all for this long and I am still without Sonny, without name, without husband, without family and still sleeping surrounded by Satanists who know these are the things we value most and are satisfied and couldn't care less what we do or don't get right on here. Things are as they should be as long as this continues.

For those where its all rape, cash, power being in Scotland is the best place in the world because its being on forever and everyone just accepts it and when people don't there are plenty of pro slavery (Capitalist, Communist and developing) states to come in and put everything and everyone back in place. Did Bertie really think that the reason he also ended up skint and back in that flat in Whitfield was because "I" or we stopped him from getting pain or keeping the money. Sure we have forced slavers to hand over all their dirty loot and burned it but how is what even possible considering what we are usually under? We tried explaining the thing that keeping and small number of slaves relative to the population size and engendering supporting hierarchies of violence was about keeping the whole society enslaved more than small number of slaves but he just looked confused.. Invalid entry..lol..

We could wind up the lower orders sometimes into boasting about the people who did what jobs in what country they were speaking to about what. It was always great to hear some truth and stress out slaver military information gathering and creative fiction divisions who often spent lots of time hiding from and taking down each other without realising they were effectively on the same side and certainly were working for the same short term goals, to keep it going. We really seem to not have that same fear and very real, violent and often instant oppression hanging over us anymore. We are not sure why it has faded probably something to do with everyone and everything that has been taken down or out in the years since then.

The Scots always having more information about us than anyone else and never sharing it with anyone. That was a long term thing and we were fucking relived when we found the Zionist as well as the Russian long term support in this. Things would get a bit easier when lots of their interests and sources starting getting more and more contradictory. They are all of one mind at the moment but so are we.

Sonny

We hand wrote for a while and then closed our eyes but we keep having flashbacks of seeing babies. Drugged and dead. "Your not getting out this room until you give us a bairn." Thinking that was me us. They knew we couldn't show who we were because if we did it would of triggered something particularly unsurvivable at the time. They were saying they were thinking about handing me over to some very powerful, rich, ambitious and evil sorts that had been hunting for me in particular for a long time but the Scots had lied and hide us from so they could use me themselves. It wasn't scaring us much by that point. We knew it wasn't something they could do by this point. They had based it all in Scotland because of its long slavery and extreme public and domestic abuse traditions but that had meant we had no choice but desimate the rings whenever we could just so we could survive. By 2008/2009 the Scottish rings were fragments of what they had been outside of the police and there were few people like me they could access and the less of us they have the less the can manipulate, torture and trigger those they have left.

But they had managed to find out that certain types who we couldn't survive being handed over to again in the condition we were in they were all about "making the most of it" with arguments and power struggles about what, when and who that would involve and whether or not we would live. They loved to argue about who got us for what when in front of me, they obviously got a kick out of it. And of course influential and violent scum from across the globe was worried about how we would be controlled in the future as they were getting lots of pressure to get me out of there before they killed me or I killed the Johnstons. A bairn that lived and would be given to ring members to bring up, abuse,  program, sell and used against us was decided on. Bertie himself brought the news into the room that it had all been given approval from on high. Sonny.

Last year lots of what was left of the rings that turned up for more slavery and sadism was taken out. It was great just being about to walk around outside with them dropping them flies around me and only having to do some myself. We knew the powers that be would not be happy about losing their famous fuck division so we used them as collateral to get a few hours access to Sonny and some other stuff. We wanted to slay them all so badly but it would of been out of pure hate and they were all bots anyway so focused on the positives and walked away. We knew that in some of their heads they believed it was a certainty that they would have me again soon and it was so nice just knowing that was not the case. Someone had the idea of bringing out some of their most significant support in everything they had done to me and my sisters and any child or vulnerable person they got their hands on and shooting them in the head in front of them.

We knew we had seen those sick made for radio faces pale with the possibility of consequences before but this time it was different. They can't hurt us without all kinds of support and it was dying in front of them. We felt a little safe and really could walk away this time and not look back.

The calls were coming in fast at some points to, the guy who calls us "toilet" dead. So many more. Some British armed forces turning up for real without or against orders to offer assistance and we had to tell ourself to chill a bit about that once we told them they were appreciated and who to check in with, still hard not to feel hope. Especially in that weather and scenery.