Onward then.

Then the weed ran out and I got the letter saying I got no points and wasn't entitled to ESA.  The whole 'Im gonna get myself a MA in English' was much more 'wiz up' then, than 'yea man'.  I might as well put in the effort with the wee scholarship application though.  I need something and if not this than maybe trying for it will help me to figure out what.  I didn't want to completely abandon the idea because it is outside what bloody Cameron and his mates think I should get money for.  I've considered it a couple of times before but the idea seems to be germinating big time this time.  I'm not 'just' an unemployed, partially disabled, single mother with a difficult past, I'm all that but with an impressive academic record.  Not completely mental all the time and actually quite good at figuring things out.

I'm tough enough and sane enough to know that the current local job market is no place I need to be anywhere near at the moment if I want to preserve or improve health and parenting skills.  I'm sure that will change but probably not this year.  Or next year if I'm studying for an MA..

I'm sure the Savile shit is having its influence at the moment of course.  I might actually be able to be me now.  I might of been able to for a while but the little ones would never have believed.  Youngest 8, my arse, literally half in and half out a nappy.  Fuckers.  A well connect pedophile who isn't part of any rings.  Sure. We need more psychologists, psychiatrists and psychotherapists in the child abuse debate.  Lots of them and loads of different kinds.  Especially if they are openly survivors to.  Not the ones that haven't done any actual work with victims and perpetrators though.

Can't say things aren't heading in a better direction though.

Got more weed..