Messy

2moro will be more outwardly productive, I'm ready for it. Need my study area back and need to stop small boy from pooping over it. He's mastered the mouse and switching the computer off and on again, not bad for a three year old. Haven't been in the mood for decorating boiled eggs or going to the park much, mother's day is often pretty tricky. They usually catch us before our first peroid, as far as I can remember that happened when I was 9 or ten, I'm 32 now so that means I am possibly a gran.

I was walking home from Oliver rehersals, commited to slashing my wrist and I saw someone I knew he said I had post natal depression. I couldn't remember anything I about it but he had a girl in his arms who was about a year old, I couldn't take me eyes of her. He said it wasn't her but she might be as well, I didn't believe him. I'm always a bit suspicous of information from people who arn't actually physically there. I think Toby was after that, named after the resteraunt that I saw from the back of the car night after night. I was older then and must have been needed for something that required me to be a bit more than a lump of dissasociated flesh. 14, maybe.

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